What Were They Thinking?

I’m not quite sure whether this can be attributed to a simple lack of fluency with the language; seems to me it would take a fair bit of mangling of thoughts to come up with this gem. I can’t think of any thing that would be close to what ( I think ) they were trying to say that would translate into this.

Ghaziabad Municipal Corporation Now Officially Accepts Bribes

Here’s something interesting, albeit in a very pathetic way: The Times Of India, Delhi Edition, dated 11 September 2007, reported that the Ghaziabad Municipal Corporation now officially accepts bribes.

In case the link breaks, this is what the article said:

GHAZIABAD: If you can't check corruption, institutionalise it. This is the bizarre mantra that the Municipal Corporation of Ghaziabad (MCG) has hit upon.

Believe it or not, MCG is now officially accepting bribes paid through cheques that would otherwise have gone into the pockets of its officials.

Here's an instance of how it works. A contractor who bags a tender for a government project is now required to pay 15 per cent of the quoted amount to MCG. That's the kickback money he would ordinarily have paid to department employees. But now it’s going into the municipality's coffers.

This is the new system being put in place by municipal commissioner Ajay Shankar Pande to "curb corruption as well as enrich the MCG". And, as much as Rs 22 lakh of 'bribe money' has now officially gone into the corporation's account. And this in just two months that Pande has headed the corporation.

Says Pande, "Corruption has gone so deep into the working of government departments that officials cannot dream of handing out work, or payments for it, without taking bribes. So, we have adopted this method of officially taking the bribes, by cheques, into the MCG account."

Interestingly, most contractors have reacted by revealing the exact amounts, usually ranging from 5 per cent to 15 per cent, that they had agreed to pay as bribe. They are signing declarations that they are "voluntarily depositing the amount that would have gone into bribes to realise payments, into the corporation's account. And, this amount should be used by MCG for public welfare projects".

But, asserts Pande, giving this "official bribe" does not absolve any contractor from providing quality work. "Contractors who have earlier done sub-standard work are being given one more chance because it appears that everybody was earlier involved in corruption. They have to repair the shortcomings at their own cost," he adds.

I’m not quite sure if it’s a stupid move or not. After all, if it’s legal, then it can be tracked and accounted for. So, if it does work out, then it’s a good thing and would show that the guy who came up with the plan is a pretty smart fellow and that tough times call for tough measures.

On the other hand, it reflects rather poorly on us; that we’re this incapable of dealing with corruption that we have to shift focus from stopping it to making sure we can at least profit from it.

I figure it’s like telling kids that “stealing chocolates is a no-no; but if you do do it, you’ve to give up half”. So what do kids do? If you said “stop stealing and lead an honest life”, go directly to the Ghaziabad Municipal Corporation ( apparently they employ similar thinking folks ), do not pass go, do not collect 200 rupees ( over or under the table ). If you answered, “steal twice the chocolate to make sure their share doesn’t drop”, congratulations. You’re an unfortunate, thinking, rational member of a society that seems to get weirder everyday!

Next they’ll be telling dacoits “…alright, so you can loot and burn trains. But make sure you buy a ticket first!

Update [13 Sep 07]: Here's another post about this on the "Weird India" blog

Nuclear Arms

You can't hug your children with nuclear arms

Alright, so this was spoken by Amy, Death's crush, from Family Guy, Season 3, Episode 6. And it's sardonic. But it still sounds cool :D


I'm not big on birthdays. For me, it's just another day with the same old things to do. Maybe I'll use it as an excuse to pig out, but otherwise, I kinda even dislike the disruption of my routine. I know, I know, I'll age into a bitter old man. But that's just the way I am. It's not like I don't enjoy life or give thanks for what I've got; I just don't pick my birthday as a special day for it. I take joy in the smaller things...which I shall not list for fear of being labelled a geek! I just don't think birthdays are a big deal.

But my friends and family think otherwise and in spite of my reluctance, they do their best to make it special for me ( which I appreciate but only after a while; after I give up my attitude better suited to a hermit )

So here's some links to what some nice folks had to say to me on this day:

There were others too, friends from school and college, who called and scrapped me on Orkut. Thanks guys.

And last, but not least, a big thanks and a hug to that special person for sending me a scrumptious chocolate cake ( even though I was less than gracious while accepting it; I'm sorry, I was a jerk ).