Trip To Bangkok : Prelude

( This is Post I of V chronicling, well, what else? My Trip to Bangkok! )

I won a trip to Bangkok sometime back. It was for some MTV contest that I'd entered way back. I don't even remember what it was anymore. They'd called me up around April but nothing came of it. I was busy with my exams and getting ready to move to Delhi for my job and I forgot about it. After joining here, I mailed them and they finally got things moving and told me that it be sometime in December.

The trip was for 3 days and 2 nights for two people. They said they would be paying for the travel and the stay. Everything else would be on our expense. Later they clarified that they would be sanctioning Rs 40,000 and anything over that amount would be borne by us. I finally had to pay about Rs 3500, which is decent, I think.

You'd have thought I'd be swamped with requests from people asking to go along. You'd be wrong. I just couldn't find anyone! I asked my sister, my cousin, my friends. All in all, I checked with about 8 people before I finally got someone who was ready to and able to go. All the others had some problem or the other; someone didn't have a passport that was valid for at least 6 months ( as is required ), someone was busy, someone didn't want to come ( !! ) etc. etc. Finally, Freddie from work, agreed. And we were set!

Not really. Since I hadn't got my tickets or the hotel voucher yet! I was talking to the travel agent ( who incidently was located in Mumbai, since when I'd entered and won the contest, I was living in Pune, closer to Mumbai ) everyday for over a week trying to get things finalized. I received the couriered tickets on the day before I was supposed to leave! Luckily, everything was in order otherwise the whole thing would have to have been scrapped! As an aside, the travel agent asked me how to dial my mobile phone number from Mumbai! She didn't know how to! She'd been trying to get through to me by dialing the area code! I thought it was rather absurd considering that she was a travel agent!

The plane was scheduled to depart at 0840 and since check-in for international flights begins three hours before, we planned to be at the airport at 0530. Which meant waking up at 0300! And since my body clock is set for nighty-night at 0000, this meant only 3 hours of sleep! Groan! I managed to wake up in time though. I'd packed my suitcase and bag the night before along with all my documents and money. All that remained to be done was lock up the house and move to the airport.

Freddie had arranged for a vehicle from the company and he turned up at a little past 0400 and we sped off for a weekend of exotic fun and relaxation. Or so we thought!

The New Year

Another year is past. I've learnt a lot, hurt a lot, laughed a lot but most important, loved a lot. It has been a year spent away from home, away from those I care about. But it has been a year spent maturing, much like fine wine, I hope. :D

I went to a new year's eve party at the DSOI ( Defence Service Officers Institute ) at Delhi with my cousin and friend. It was a tragedy. It was really cold but that was to be expected. It was also suddenly and incredibly, foggy. But that was rather beautiful. No, it wasn't nature that spoiled the party for me but the people there.

There were just too many of them, for one. The place was overcrowded. There were 3 dance floors with a DJ each! And that was just to accommodate the people that dance! Other's like me were just sitting around, chatting and catching up with acquaintances. I was there for the eating. Which was a major let down. There were queues everywhere. First, a queue to get the food coupons. Then a queue to get the food ( which wasn't great either, the stuff I had was just about passable ). Then there was the queue for the drinks. Actually, calling it a queue gives quite the wrong picture of an orderly lining up of decent people. If you saw these guys, you'd think they were giving the stuff for free! People were pushing and yelling to be served first. The counters actually ran out of glasses later in the evening! All we wanted were a couple of juices and they were out of those. Of course, we had to stand in the line for 10 odd minutes to find that out. Why they couldn't have separate counters for the soft and hard drinks is beyond me.

There weren't enough chairs either. We were lucky enough to turn up early and get a good table, near an angeethi. People kept coming to us throughout the evening to ask if they could take the chairs we were keeping. One lady even remarked, on being told that they were occupied, that '...but there's no one sitting there now. You can't reserve them like that...'. Of course we can! We came early and we're keeping seats for the rest of our group! Where are they expected to sit once they turn up? You should've sent someone else early to save you some places!

As midnight approached, more and more folks were inebriated and the empty bottles and glasses that could be found bore the brunt of their joy at welcoming another year. And of course, there were the usual fracas over stupid things.

I hate these parties. And I hadn't ever been for one at this scale so the actual intensity of my hate didn't become apparent till now. The guys who attend are usually idiots. They come to get drunk and hit on girls. They're disgusting. I really can't comment on the girls. Going to one of these quite defeats the purpose of celebration. There is nothing to celebrate. Having to watch all those cretins around you makes you think twice about the condition of the populace in general. And makes me feel more and more depressed about the state of affairs of Life. The Universe. And Everything. All the more reason to be thankful for the day off on the 1st of January.

The only good thing, according to me, to come of these events is that you often bump into old friends that you've lost touch with. This of course, is from an Army function point of view, because small world as it is, it’s even smaller in the Army circle.

So there you have it. My new year did not roll in in a very fun manner. I was fed up of the party. And the parties involved. I just wanted to go home, snuggle into my blanket with a warm mug of soup and watch something fun on laptop.

But I guess, the New Year is only what we make of it. And I hope you and I have an even better year this time.

Indians

I just went to Bangkok a couple of weeks ago. As always, the trip abroad put into sharp relief the shortcomings that Indians, as a people, have.

Indians are anxious, boorish, cheats, crude, cunning, dirty, disgusting, greedy, ignorant, ill-mannered, impolite, narrow-minded, noisy, nosy, pretentious, selfish, smelly, uncouth, under-confident, unhealthy, unhygienic and unkempt.

I planned to start this paragraph with a '...But they're also...' and list out all the good qualities but, umm...well...nothing jumps to mind, quite like way that an elephant doesn't jump. Instead, let me say this. At the end of three days away from home, I missed India. Not everything about it. I loved the (relative) order and cleanliness of Bangkok. But I felt a slight homesickness after a while. I guess, come what may, I am an Indian at heart. No matter how much I sniff at its failings and no matter how much I am disgusted by the bureaucracy and politics and government officials, it is my home. It is where I grew up. It is where my family and friends are.

I suppose, in the end, I'm just as bad as they are.

Do The Explore

That is actually the slogan for Samsung's Pleomax line of products! When my dad first got me a pack of CD-R's of that brand, I thought he'd been duped!

This post isn't about the funny, stupid or just plain ridiculous motto's and slogan's. It's about how I figure I like to explore; the thrill of finding new places. Well, not actually by going there, but the thought of them in the comfort of my room is very exciting.

In fact, I think that is one reason why I love the dark. Everything seems new and different. I am currently reading Eragon by Christopher Paolini and I just utterly taken by the idea of wandering on plains that stretch as far as the eye can see, with no one around. Hills that rise in the distance, at the horizon. Lone journeys where no one else is there. I guess there is an element of privacy involved. You could do whatever you wanted to, and no one would ever know. Of course, in my visions, its not all featureless plains. It's more of a journey towards them, flanked by rolling hills on the left and forests of bramble on the right.

But it's not just that. I like the ( science-ficition-ish ) idea of mammoths of engineering like a colossal spaceship or enormous tunnels underlying cities. The prospects of discovery of nooks and crannies that they present are innumerable.

Have you watched Pixar's Cars yet? It's a very good movie, worth a watch. I especially loved the vistas of the Grand Canyon like ravines and mesas. The views from atop a hill, looking down upon the valley, immense distances on all sides. Very appealing.

I've always found The Age of Empires, the Age of Mythology, and countless other clones, very fascinating. The idea of controlling all those little people, watching over all that land at one time, being able to see in all directions at once makes it remarkable for me. I don't like the game as such, I'm terrible at strategy. But I love watching all those little creatures go about their work, wandering all over the land.

Of course, like I mentioned, I'd probably not enjoy it so much if I was out there on my own. But as an observer ( from a slight height, I might add ) I just love it. One more reason why I thought The Lord of the Rings trilogy was so cool, what with all those shots of them riding those panoramic plains. Absolutely awesome!

Addicted

I'm addicted to the Internet. I just can't do without it anymore. I need to check my mail and Orkut scraps daily. There are contests that need entering. And of course utilities, songs and videos to download. And when all that is done, there is so much to explore and discover.

I use the net for everything nowadays. And I *can* use it for pretty much everything. I had to find out the numbers of KFC and McDonalds near where I live. So I Google'd the keywords, found the sites, went to the appropriate city page, and voila! There I had it, all the contact numbers. I downloaded the menu for Pizza Corner from their site. I didn't need to ask anyone for any of those things. And that's the way I like it. :D

Whenever I need to find out about a movie or some application or form to fill or symptoms of a disease or details of anything, the first thing I do it get online. More often than not, I find what I'm looking for. Only as a last resort do I go and ask someone for help.

Of course, it doesn’t help my social skills any. But I'd rather deal with search engine results rather than actual people any day. However, not all sources on the Internet are reliable. It's always better to check out the credentials of the contributor.

Oh, and if I wasn't addicted, you wouldn't be reading this now :D

Politeness

"Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to
wax."

- Arthur Schopenhauer ( 1788 - 1860 )

I wish. But it seems human nature is less prone to melting than wax. In fact, rather than making people help you, it seems to be taken as an indication of weakness. It is really difficult to get anything done if you insist on being polite. People take you for a push-over. Someone who can be easily swindled.

I'm not street-smart. Far from it. I always wait patiently at the grocer’s or at banks or wherever else a queue forms with me as a member. I never push my way to the front. I never protest when people push and shove. Though I think it may be attributed more to my lack of aggression ( and maybe a spine :( ). I always feel that isn't worth losing your dignity for. I'd prefer waiting and not getting rather than jumping into the fray and fighting to be amongst the first few to collect. And of course, that often leaves me without. It really irritates me, but I get over it. Though I do believe it would be different ( I hope ) if I was ever unlucky enough to be waiting in line for some sort of handouts for me and my family.

Bombay was ranked as the least polite and helpful city in the world in this year's survey by Reader's Digest. Delhi was much higher up in the list. I haven't lived in Bombay. But if the survey is true, I guess it would be since the extremely large portion of humanity that inhabits the city is so caught up in the struggle of day to day life and under pressure to make ends meet that it can't give much thought to anyone else's troubles.

I'm staying in Delhi now. People here are supposed to be really helpful. I don't know about that. It doesn't seem that much different from home ( read Pune ) to me. People are cordial enough. Though I suspect the belief stems from the populace's rather intrusive interest in everything. They have this need to know exactly what is going on. People will drop what they're doing, stop on their way to work, if they spot something interesting going on. They are ready participants in whatever debate or fracas happens to be in progress. Other folks may like the attention given to their cause but I happen to be very uncomfortable with it. I like my privacy. A lot. I don't want everyone to know about what is going with my life. What you call helpful I call invasion of privacy.

Like with everything else, I guess, moderation is the key. You should be polite, but back it up with some firmness. If you're not getting your rights, do away with the graciousness and niceties and get down to brass tacks.

Bandwidth

In India, broadband is defined as anything over 256kbps. ( By the way, you do realise that that is kilobits per second? Not kilobytes per second which is written as kBps. So 256kbps would be 32kBps. Just something you should consider. ) But even if you're willing to shell out hard cash, there really aren't that many options. Though it has been getting cheaper.

I'd got my first Internet connection in August of 2004. It was a 32kbps dial-up. In 4 months we switched over to a Sify broadband connection of 256kbps. I now have an Airtel broadband connection of 512kbps ( at night ) and it costs me much lesser than what I was paying earlier. And it is a pretty good connection. I've had no problems so far and the speeds are really good.

I'm now drooling at the news that the government plans to increase the speeds of the plans next year. MTNL and BSNL will be announcing the details, independently, in a few weeks. Of course, the private players too should follow suit soon. Though I'm sure it'll be a long way off from the 1 Mbps connections with dedicated 512kbps upload links in the US that I keep reading about, enviously, I might add, on forums on the net. But still, you can never have enough bandwidth. Even it increases just a bit, it's a step in the right direction right?

More bandwidth to the people!

Police II

On Wednesday morning, in Howrah, a newborn died of hunger and cold in a police station as the cops ignored the baby and continued the interrogation of the mother, who had been picked up the previous evening for bearing a child out of wedlock.

The 21 year old mother, Soma Giri, is mentally challenged. Her mother who accompanied the four year old girl and Soma to the police station said, 'The baby needed to be nursed. As the temperature dipped, she shivered violently. There were no warm clothes. We promised to return in the morning but the police just wouldn't listen. Sometime close to dawn, the baby slipped into a deep sleep. It was only later that we realised it was death.'

Reading these lines over and over makes my skin crawl. There's a lump in my throat as I imagine the poor baby and her mother. The inhumanity of the situation! What kind of heinous, disgusting excuses for men would let something like this happen? The sheer helplessness of someone in a situation like this is just so pitiful. I can just see myself in her shoes. There is just nothing you can do against authority like that. Nothing as a lone individual. Society as a whole must do something about this. But it's so easy to pass on the responsibility to other people. I wonder what I would do; what I should do. I don't think I have the guts to face up to someone like that. Though, maybe, the utter desperation of the situation may push me enough to take some action.

I wouldn’t condemn public lynching of these men ( if you can call the monsters that). I know it's a blanket punishment. I know it's a step back to the dark ages. I know that taking the law into our own hands doesn't help anything. I know that these people probably have families that need them and love them. But as I read the paragraphs again, all I comprehend is that thanks to them, an innocent child died. Her mother is in anguish. Yes, I'd probably condone the lynching.

( Based on the article "Newborn dies as cops grill mother" by Saibal Gupta from the Times of India, New Delhi edition, dated 1st December 2006 )

Coincidence?

A few days ago, I heard 'The Ecstasy Of Gold', composed by Ennio Morricone, from the motion picture 'The Good, The Bad And The Ugly' for the first time. Except I didn't know it was from the movie. I'd just enqueued all the songs on my computer into WinAmp and left it on random play. When I heard this song play, I checked the file info. I'd never heard it before, but it was just so familiar. Bits of it seemed to be going a way that I thought I knew, but then they'd suddenly veer off in another direction. A couple of familiar chords, followed by one which would suddenly jar with the one that my brain expected to follow. All the file revealed was that it was track one from Metallica's S&M Disc-I. So I Google'd it and came up the details above. And in the meantime, I'd put on the theme from 'The good, the bad and the ugly' just because my subconscious told me to! And they turned out to be related!

Well, the point of this post isn't my serendipitous discovery of this song. Today, I was out on the terrace, contemplating yet another series of events that let to some, as of now, intractable problems. And my mind was so preoccupied with them that I couldn't really do anything. Then, suddenly, I hear now familiar strains playing out loud from a building near by. And it was 'The Ecstasy of Gold', the original version. And it was really uplifting. My mind cleared immediately and I felt as if there was something inexplicable that had led to my not-so-immediate neighbour to play that particular theme. At first I thought it was because he/ she had heard me play that song. Except I don't play music that loud. Also, they couldn't have just guessed which track it was.

So that brings me to the crux of the post. Coincidence? Some weird twist of fate? Telepathy? God? I don't know. But I have noticed that there are so many incidents where this happens. You're thinking of someone or something and they call or you get it. Now, I'm not an atheist. But I'm not a real believer of 'God'. I'm more of an agnostic. I pray but it's very private and, sadly, mostly in time of need. But things like this make me question the way we believe the universe runs.

I guess there are somethings that we'll never know the answer to. Like Douglas Adams said in his book Life, the Universe and Everything, "...the Question and the Answer are mutually exclusive. Knowledge of one logically precludes knowledge of the other. It is impossible that both can ever be known about the same universe..."

Pets; Fear Them!

An article in the Times of India ( New Delhi edition) today, reports that a 3 year old boy was eaten alive by a pig! That is just so freaky! The boy wandered into the playground when a herd of pigs took him away. When his mother went looking for him later, she saw a pig biting his torso! She tried to scare the pig by throwing stones at it but it turned on her. She then raised an alarm the locals gathered and chased away the animal but by then it had already eaten the upper part of the child's body!

This is so very terrifying! I always pictured pigs as cute little pink things from fairy tales. Not as flesh eating killers! Though a lot of ideas we have about the animal kingdom are totally incorrect and are put in our brains by the stories we read as kids. There are countless incidents where dogs have turned on their owners, mauled them, and more often than not, killed them. This seems to be especially common in mastiffs. And here we were all conditioned to be under the impression that dogs are a man's best friend and they protect our homes. I've seen a couple of videos where people who had pet snakes were attacked by them. One guy got bitten on the nose. Another was asphyxiated by his boa constrictor.

We should never forget the fact that all of these pets that we have are essentially wild animals. Their primary instinct is that of a killer, to hunt. And as such, they can never be totally domesticated. And ergo, never be completely safe.

I Agree!

No one is perfect; till you fall in love with them.

Time

None.

Originally, this was supposed to be my post. The shortest one ever. Just to impress upon you the absolute want of free time during the course of my day. Of course, the now sporadic frequency of my posts should have been a fair indicator, but no matter.

There is just so much to be done in period of 24 hours. And all of it needs regular attention and none of it can be skipped without repercussion. I need to read the newspaper. One must be aware of events shaping the world today. It's a good way to start of the day. But unfortunately I only get enough time to read the funnies and skim over the headlines. I always tell myself I'll catch up during a break at work. I never do take a break, but that’s another matter.

At work one must, of course, work. You need to be noticed for being sincere and hard working and producing quality output. You could, as I notice many of my colleagues do, spend all day chatting and surfing and playing games on the LAN. But I wonder about the future benefits of that. Which is to say I'm not really sure if its a bad way to be. But my principles and obsession over details won't let me hand in shoddy work.

Exercise is a must. You need to stay fit. It'll help you lead a long, productive and satisfying life. I hope! Add to this the pressure of being good looking and in shape nowadays and you absolutely must put aside some time for it. However, it takes up so much time if it is to be done properly!

All work and no play. That won't do. So leisure time must be spent doing something you enjoy. Play music. Read a book. Play a game. Again, that takes so much time too. I play the guitar. And I've been planning to really practice and get good at it for so long now. Except there is always something else that takes priority over this. One must be well read to get ahead. But the shortage of time ( and good books! ) makes sure that that doesn't happen.

I plan to take the GRE. When, I really don't know. But I need to start studying for it. Except I really don't get the time. I need to work on stuff for work too. I need to read up on so much. And since studying for the GRE will pay off a little later in the future, it invariably gets put off.

Then there are the mundane household activities. Clothes need to be washed and ironed. The room must be dusted and swept. Stocks of toiletries and food must be maintained. It all requires so much planning.

And of course one must build connections and network with people. That requires going out and spending time with them ( of course, it involves spending money too! ) And that is hard to when you have so many pressing matters at hand. Finally, you also have to spend time with you loved ones. Talking to them and keeping up with their lives.

It's all just too much to pack into a mere 24 hours. But then, work always expands to fill in the time given for its completion.

The Break-Up

Britney Spears, Phil Collins and Jessica Simpson all have something in common. Other than the fact that they're in the music industry. Britney Spears and Phil Collins broke up with their ex's by SMS and fax, respectively. And Jessica Simpson was dumped through a text message. And more and more people seem to be heading the same way. Youngsters are following this trend of 'delayed mortification' as opposed to 'instant gratification'. They want to avoid, or at least delay, the unpleasant confrontations. And now, there are even experts who help you through the whole process or even do it for you! There is a 'Separation Agency' in Germany whose specialist does the job in 15 minutes on an average.

It is just so ridiculous. If you were in a relationship with someone, the least you owe them is an honest and open discussion and a face-to-face explanation. How can you do it over the phone or by SMS? It just shows how much respect you have for them. Actually, it shows people how much respect they should have for you. It reflects your character. If you don't have the courage to face up to someone who you claimed to have loved, then you don't deserve to be with anyone.

In my opinion, if I was at the receiving end of something like this, I'd be thinking, "Good riddance! If this is the kind of person she really is, then I'm better off without her!”

( Based on the article “Splitting? Get the ex-perts” by Jaya Drona from the Delhi Times, New Delhi edition, dated 20th November 2006 )

A Foreign Land

Everybody everywhere seems to be tripping over each other in their rush to be politically correct. People are protesting about bans on expression of religion like burqas and crosses. A village in England actually cancelled Christmas because it was perceived to be offensive to minority religions!

Whose country is it anyway? These people are guests in your land, treat them as such. Not as the rulers. Respect them, give them rights, and by all means, let them be free to practice their beliefs and religion. As long as it doesn't break the laws of the land. Accommodate to a degree. But don't bend over backwards trying to make them happy. They have come to you; you didn't go inviting them to come over.

When you have guests over for a stay, you welcome them, try to make them as comfortable as possible, make room for their ways, without disrupting your schedule. You adjust for the little inconveniences, the minor changes in routine. But you don't turn your household upside-down to keep them happy. They're the guests, it's your house. Your needs take priority over theirs.

When you go live in another country, their laws and customs take precedence over yours. You may be used things being done differently but that was when you were somewhere else. If you've come here, you'd better get used to the way things are done here otherwise head back home.

If everything were changed to be the way you were used to it back home, what would be the difference between there and here?

The Human Touch

I was spending yet another eternity at a traffic light that wasn't working, because there was no power, waiting for the traffic policeman to realize that our lane was now full of vehicles stretching for a couple of miles when I began day dreaming about robots that would have handled the same job so much more efficiently and rationally.

They could keep track of how many vehicles there were, the speed with which traffic was moving, how congested the crossing further down were, how long each side had been waiting and weigh all these factors to decide who needed to be let through next. It would lead to shorter waits and smoother traffic. And this could be extended to so many more jobs! The whole bureaucracy could be automated and thus streamlined and made free from corruption and nepotism.

But then I realized that this was just the bright side. In doing so, we'd be losing the human element. These jobs would all be in proximity to people. And I really don't think we'd ever be making robots with circuits to understand the subtleties of human behaviour because to give them the understanding would be to give them those characteristics and hence make them human. And that is not what we want to do. We may pretend that we want to build machines that mimic humans as closely as possible but I think we all realize, subconsciously, that to do that, beyond a limit, would be to make them more alien and a source of fear. They have to be recognizable as machines made to simulate life. They have to seem servile and controllable. You wouldn't want to own a robot that could do everything better than you, looked better than you, would never age and may even decide that it was, in fact, better than you and so didn't need to serve you anymore!

Well, back to the point. By using automation we bring efficiency, get rid of corruption, favoritism, nepotism and all the negative qualities that we hate. But we must realize that we also lose out on the human touch; we lose out on sympathy, pity, compassion, understanding and all those little things that make us human and make life easier. Robots aren't going to understand the need to get to a dying parent's bedside. They won't understand the value of getting to the hospital to be present at your child’s birth.

As much as we hate them, it's the people who will give in when you need it the most.

All That I Am

Everything that makes me different, in a good way, isn't something of my own making. All those qualities are because of people who cared or were just around long enough to affect me.

I have a decent command of the English language. Because my parents thought it important for me to read and speak it. I know bits of trivia. Again because my parents forced me to read. I can play a little guitar ( well, actually, it's a normal sized one :D ). Courtesy my parents sending me for lessons. Tennis. Swimming. Ditto. ( They tried horse-riding too but a couple of falls put an end to that. Apparently I don't have strong enough thighs! :D )

I can fiddle around with a computer a bit because my parents thought it necessary to sacrifice and buy us a computer early on. I can drive because my father took the time to teach me and mother suppressed her fears of me mowing down pedestrians, in a fair imitation of Carmageddon, enough to let me practice a bit. They would have liked to have me learn to dance and cook and sew too but by then I'd learnt the invaluable art of slipping into teenage sullenness.

Since this post isn't meant as a forum for me to extol my virtues ( to a certain extent it isn't :D ) or for me to try and gain sympathy ( again, only to a certain extent :D ), I'll get on with it. The point is, there is nothing that I've done on my own. Nothing that I have to show for my 22 years of existence that isn't of someone else’s making. If someone says I am intelligent, even that is to be credited to the genes my parents gave me. If I've scored half decent marks, it's because my mother insisted right from the start on studying first.

And what am I doing with all these chances that I've been given? All the opportunities I've had to be ahead of the rat race? Frittering them away, that's what. I've no ambition. No drive. Nothing is important enough for me to get up and do something about it. I'm content to sit and whine. To write a post for a blog rather than use that time to study.

Where am I heading? I really, really don't know. And I'm not sure I want to find out either.

Friends

"...Good friends we have had, oh good friends we've lost along the way..." sang Bob Marley. Those words always bring a lump to my throat. Faces of people I've known swim out from the darkness of the past. Familiar faces blurred by the haze of time. Recognizable features to which I can't put a name. Places that were once frequented everyday, now buried somewhere by the sands of my memories.

Time goes by so fast. Some days are so clear; as if they were yesterday. I can recall every detail. Every single moment as it passed. The sight of all my friends. The smiles. The laughter. All the secrets that we shared. The understanding. Knowing what was going on with each other. What was important. Hopes. Dreams. Aspirations. Hours spent together doing nothing. Just hanging out. Discussing the latest movie or serial. Impromptu plans for lunch. Late nights just driving. Hanging out at someone’s place with nothing to do. Asking for favours, knowing it won't be a big deal, and that it doesn't have to be a give and take thing. Nothing to be given in return. Calls that went on for hours even if it meant that on both sides we'd be on our computers playing or browsing, just grunting every once in a while to indicate our presence. All the advice. All the support. All the things we learnt from each other.

And now there are only acquaintances. No friends. The closeness and affection has all been swept away by the hands of the clock. You meet people meet and then go back home. There is no time to connect. Actually, no one even seems to want to. The cut throat world that we live in forces everyone to look out for just themselves.

Everything changes so much. Keeping in touch is so hard. I have no idea what is going on with my closest friends right now. I haven't talked to them in months. And the worst part is, I keep putting it off myself. Tomorrow, I tell myself. And we all know, tomorrow never comes.

Well, it's here now. I'm gonna put off everything else. I'm gonna sit down. And I'm gonna talk to some of the people who meant and still mean the most to me.

The Hours II

The night is an amazing time. It's the mysterious and the unknown. But what makes it better is being in a place that's very familiar by day. The darkness adds a completely new dimension to it.

My college building and grounds were somewhere that I frequented. It was so easily recognizable. But when we had fests or some cultural events and had to practice there at night, they were familiar and yet exotic; completely new and exciting. One reason was, of course, that we weren't there to work. It wasn't the 'college' anymore. It was a fun place.

Another reason was the lack of individuals. It seemed as if the whole place was yours. The vast expanses of empty spaces devoid of another person added to the specialty of the time.

However, I feel, the most important cause was the interplay of light and darkness marking out familiar territory or putting into shadow and hiding from vision what your brain expected to see at some place. All those corners where you could hide, all the dark positions that you could take up where no one would ever find you and you could observe all and sundry without being noticed. There was a feeling of invincibility; you could get away with anything, no one would know.

Now at the company too, there are times when there's a power cut and the lights go out and the only illumination comes from the glow of the computer screens. You're hidden from the rest of the people. The place suddenly looks different; less like a workplace and more casual. I plan to go some night, just to sit around and revel in that feeling again.

Looking at all I've written, it seems to me, that one of the major reasons why I like the dark is because it provides a means to hide. An escape route. A chance to get away from the crowd and be on my own. And I must confess, I do enjoy tremendously, those brief moments alone and away from it all.

Beauty

Everywhere you look, the pressure to be beautiful and fit is overwhelming. All media features advertisements starring epitomes of magnificence. All posters and magazine advertisements have models with flawless skin, toned bodies, cascading hair, urging you to buy one or the product that you don't really want or need. In fact, if you're like me, the sight of those perfect gods and goddesses makes you not want to buy the thing just to spite them.

Television is overflowing with bronzed bodies with picture perfect abs and smiles so white, they could give the buffalo in the Orbit ad a run for its money! They all sport immaculate hairstyles and have impeccable dressing sense. And of course, what is all this without a big fat paycheck? For doing what, is, for the time being and probably for ever, an unanswered question.

The demands to measure up to these celluloid creations of unbalanced and deranged screen writers is taking its toll on the people. Everyone seems to be going, planning to go, or wanting to go, to get nips and tucks and staples and God knows what other atrocities inflicted on their poor, unsuspecting bodies. Consuming steroids for that perfect definition, pumping Botox into their face; where does it all stop?

But now, in a video called Evolution by Dove, viewers are finally show how make-up artists and computer gimmickry can turn a girl-next-door into a glamorous model. It's a matter of seconds! Once people know how its done, they'll feel at least a little better about themselves. All the anxiety and self-esteem problems can be eased a little.

On the other hand, who wants to see more ordinary people? There are enough ugly humans around :D Why would someone want to plonk themselves in front of the TV just to see more individuals of the kind they could meet at office in person? I think it’s the glamour of seeing larger than life personas and the attraction of watching people 'better' than us that keeps the sitcoms running. The hope that some cosmetic product will actually deliver on its promise of making you as beautiful as the face that promotes it, keeps the make-up industry running.

Beauty isn't skin deep anymore. In the case of Botox, it goes just a little deeper.

Trans Fats

A newspaper article last weekend talked about 'trans fats'. These are 'killer fats' that block your arteries, choking the heart and can knock you off in a single cardiac arrest. And all you need to do to build up these in your body is to eat food cooked in oils like vanaspati which are rich in trans fats, thrice or more times a week. And children are most at risk since they tend to eat out more often than other age groups.

The risks include diabetes, asthma, allergies, heart attacks and for the unfortunate, sudden death. The human body has no tolerance for this kind of fat and it gets deposited only as cholesterol in the body. The cholesterol levels in your body shoot up to alarming levels within 7-8 years. Cosmetically, these are the fats that cause you to get a paunch.

Kentucky Fried Chicken has already banned the use of trans fats in its US outlets. Denmark and Netherlands have regulations on their use. The WHO requires trans fat content in food to be less than 1%. But almost all food that you'd buy from outside contains anywhere between 3%-6% trans fats. And this includes biscuits, cakes, chips, French fries, samosas, paranthas etc.

The only way out, suggests the article is to use healthy vegetable oils like mustard oil or olive oil. And before buying anything, check the composition and nutritional information about the contents of the packet.

But how far can you go to keep healthy? How paranoid can you be in your quest for well-being? The inconvenience, not to mention the impracticality of some suggestions, will keep all but the most determined from keeping tabs on the oils being used at restaurants or the composition of a food product. Remember my post on hypochondria? This is what I was talking about. As if adulteration and chemicals weren't enough to be worried about, here is another damaging constituent to keep a look out for. You can only control so much of your diet.

I have learnt that moderation is the key. Too much or too little of anything, or so numerous studies show, is bad.

( Based on the article "Cut out killer fats from diet" by Amrita Singh from the Times of India, New Delhi edition, dated 5th November 2006 )