( This post follows from Trip To Bangkok: Day III. Post V of V chronicling, well, what else? My Trip to Bangkok! )
The day after my return from Bangkok was a Sunday. That was fortunate since I could spend time recovering from the hectic 3 days and take care of mundane activities like cleaning the room and washing clothes. It was unfortunate in that I was all by myself and that was cause for me to ruminate and that always leads me into depression.
I wondered if I'd ever be well-off enough to actually be able to afford a trip like this one. If I'd have the time to be able to spend time out somewhere with my family, just relaxing.
I was also painfully aware of the crude way in which Indians presented themselves, even while travelling abroad. Their lack of culture and boorish manners make me cringe all the while. I want to get away from it all, move away from all this. But I also know that I'll never actually fit in anywhere.
If I were to immigrate, I'd never be a first-class citizen, especially in, say, the States or the UK. But if I were to stay back here and live out the rest of my life in this country, I'd spend sometime everyday in frustration at the lack of basic amenities; the lack of civility among the people; the apathy of the government; the state of the country in general.
The trip was an eye-opener, yes. But it hasn't made anything clearer.
I wondered if I'd ever be well-off enough to actually be able to afford a trip like this one. If I'd have the time to be able to spend time out somewhere with my family, just relaxing.
I was also painfully aware of the crude way in which Indians presented themselves, even while travelling abroad. Their lack of culture and boorish manners make me cringe all the while. I want to get away from it all, move away from all this. But I also know that I'll never actually fit in anywhere.
If I were to immigrate, I'd never be a first-class citizen, especially in, say, the States or the UK. But if I were to stay back here and live out the rest of my life in this country, I'd spend sometime everyday in frustration at the lack of basic amenities; the lack of civility among the people; the apathy of the government; the state of the country in general.
The trip was an eye-opener, yes. But it hasn't made anything clearer.
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